Look Inside

Help! Who am I? What am I here to do? Where do I find my purpose? Why is this a struggle? How do I overcome?
You are just you. Built with spirit, soul and intelligence. No matter what your school grades are, you have a special gift of knowing. Yes, it’s in there.
We spend so much time looking on the outside for answers when all we have to do is pay attention to what feeds and drives us. Go on in. Move away the garbage, remove the spells of twisted reality and dive on in.
Give yourself permission to throw out the pain, the hatred, frustration, and doubt.
It doesn’t matter what has transpired in the past. That was only an experience placed at that point in time to help you exercise the muscle of spirit and remind you of your special gift of knowing.
The struggle will disappear when realizing that our eyes are obsolete. Shapes, sizes, colors and things of the material world become not the product of our happiness.
When we look at the outside, we see flaws. When we think about feelings, we dwell on old emotions from disappointments, disrespect, betrayal, and loneliness. A lie is born over and over every time we trust what we believe our eyes see.
Looking outside makes us the judge and jury of which we are not.
Doesn’t all living things on this planet know their purpose and how to live intuitively? All life has a knowing. The tiniest of organisms know how to reproduce, what it needs to survive and flourish. Even the plants spread their roots underground in search of water.
Learn to look within. There’s nothing to fear unless you have opted to be controlled by your eyes. They have told you to view this, as that and brought on much suffering.
We will only know our personal who, what, where, why and how when we venture to look inside.

By Leslie Gayle Goodwin

Tactical Thinking vs Strategic Thinking

Doing things right or Doing the right things

The difference between Tactical thinking and Strategic thinking. In a nutshell, Tactical thinking is “doing things right,” while Strategic thinking is “doing the right things.”

Strategic thinking is typically leadership: creating the vision. Whereas Tactical thinking is management: implementing the vision.

When it comes to strategic vs. tactical planning, it’s easy to fall into either/or thinking—that is, either strategic thinking is better, or tactical thinking is better. This is especially true when you realize which type of thinker you are. We tend to believe that our type of thinking must be superior. But regardless of whether you are a strategic or a tactical thinker, you must come to realize that both types are critical to success.

So when I use the term strategic vs. tactical thinking, it’s not to imply that they are at odds with one another; rather it’s to contrast the difference between the two, so you can begin to distinguish and appreciate those differences. It’s also critical to recognize when you are not applying both types of thinking to the situation.

Difficulties arise when one or the other, rather than both, is used to tackle a problem. Strategic thinkers tend to analyze the situation but often fail to take action. “Paralysis by analysis” is their downfall. Tactical thinkers are all about “doing something,” but they often don’t think before springing into action; so oftentimes, their action is ineffective, and perhaps unnecessary. If only they’d taken the time to step back and analyze the situation beforehand.

Think of strategic and tactical thinking like the strings of a violin. In order for the instrument to create beautiful music, each string must have tension applied to both ends. If tension is released from either side, then the music it was intended to create cannot be produced.

The apparent tension between strategic and tactical thinking is seen in the statement, “Doing Things Right vs. Doing the Right Things.” Tactical thinkers tend to focus on “doing things right,” and strategic thinkers are concerned with “doing the right things.” But let’s consider that statement for just a moment. If you do something “right,” but it’s the wrong thing to do, your efforts will be futile. Conversely, if you do the “right thing,” but you do it wrong, you’ll also fail miserably.

“Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before the defeat” – Sun Tzu

So let’s get away from either/or thinking, and engage in both/and thinking: both strategic thinking and tactical thinking are critical for success of any kind.

Hitting Bottom In Addiction: Going Down

What does it mean to hit rock bottom? When it comes to alcohol and drug addiction, “hitting rock bottom” means that the user comes to a place where he/she decides they do not wish to continue living the way they are living and hopefully, is now ready to make changes.

Low-Bottoms/High-Bottoms

Some addicts have devastatingly low bottoms while others have surprisingly high ones. Anyone can take a look at the Low-Bottom addict and clearly see these are the individuals who’ve lost all their “stuff”: cars, homes, jobs, relationships, families.

The High-Bottom addicts, on the other hand, are those who haven’t lost their ‘stuff’ yet. These individuals have more than likely met with some incident which warrants a serious look at the consequences of their alcohol or drug use; in other words, something has happened which will not allow them to continue living in denial of the negative consequences affecting their lives.

In talking with addicts who haven’t done drugs or alcohol for a number or years, i.e., the addict in recovery, one will find an interesting mixture of bottoms. Fortunately, there are those individuals (High-Bottom) who become willing to face the consequences of their addiction and get into recovery. There are also those who enter treatment centers and experience what I call a case of the “Yets”, and go back out to continue using.

Denial and the “Yets”

The disease of addiction is the only illness people can experience and yet remain oblivious to the fact that they have a serious ailment which requires immediate attention. Simple logic says if you break your arm, you have a problem which will require immediate attention; the body and mind work together to make it quite obvious to you that the limb will not work properly until it is treated. Addiction, on the other hand, works in just the opposite way; even as the physical symptoms begin to manifest themselves, the disease sabotages the message between body and mind in order to keep the addict captive to the whims of the illness. Denial is part and parcel of addiction and in fact, may be the hallmark of addiction; complete denial of the problem or denial that there is a problem ‘Yet’.

The “Yets” come into the picture when the addict’s attitude is such that he will not face the reality of the disease until something bad happens. Typical statements may include.. “Well, I haven’t missed a mortgage payment Yet, have I?” or “My drinking and driving haven’t been a problem, Yet.” The “yet” attitude is just a part of the larger problem of addiction.

Bottoms and the Shovel Analogy

A client once told me about her experiences with bottoms; how she continually ended up in jail, continually lost stuff, i.e.; cars, apartments, friends, family, etc.. I asked her why she kept hitting these bottoms and she replied, “Ms. Leslie, when you have no self-esteem to begin with, there are no limits to your bottoms.” It was a brilliant statement coming from a twenty-two year old addict. Essentially, the worse one feels about themselves, the lower they will allow the disease to take them before choosing to get into recovery.

Generally, people with healthier mental attitudes towards themselves get into recovery much more quickly than those who do not. When you don’t feel good about yourself and you’re drinking and drugging, no matter what bottom you hit, you can always find a shovel and keep digging…

I want to help you halt the downward spiral of addiction and provide assistance no matter how far down you’ve gone. High-Bottom or Low-Bottom, both can recover from the disease of addiction with the help of a strong support system.

Written by Leslie Gayle Goodwin

An Institution

An Institution

I have been told…

That being institutionalized is not to be able to make decisions on ones own. To deaden the ability to make proper choices or function under the norm of society.

Institutionalized is a simple structure of being told where to go and what to do—even how to behave, as necessities for general living are gifted.

Practices are ingrained by monotonous routine. The law laid…rules and regulations not to be rebelled against for one can always become further caged.

Yet, in an institution, another institution can always abound. That being of a higher power and relativity. A personal freedom where the concerns of the world no longer exist.

Incorporating this internal and eternal institution leaves one to its barest goal. To blossom the growth of a relationship with ones maker. To empower oneself with the unveiling and discard of unreality. To cleanse the temple and renew the spirit.

This is the Institution within the walls of being institutionalized.

Written by Leslie Gayle Goodwin

10 Things To Consider In Life

I have read hundreds of books and articles on personal development. Through it all I’ve digested and considered thousands of ideas, so-called best practices, and the always popular lifehacks. While there is no way to distill all of these books, your life, your job, or happiness into a simple list of tips, I am going to pick a handful that I personally view as the most important.
While everyone is clearly different and dealing with their own set of unique circumstances, I really believe that at some level each of these ideas can be applied to just about anyone.

1. Life isn’t smooth sailing. You will need to accept that there are bound to be some hiccups in your life. We can’t control everything in the world and there will be times when things are not going in the direction that we want.  This should not be a reason to make you feel depressed about life. Instead, accept that not everything will turn out in your favor and learn from it.
2. Live a life without excuses. If you live a life full of excuses, you will find yourself stuck in misery. Excuses tend to deny you of success and results because whenever you think of doing something that is in alignment to your goals (quit your job to run a business, start your new exercise routine, etc.) an excuse prevents it.  How many times have you ‘had no time’, ‘been too busy’, ‘been too tired’.  Decide to stop excuses from ruling your life and take control of the steering wheel of your life.
3. Stop thinking about life’s purpose. I used to spend so much time pondering about my life’s purpose. Now that I think of it, I find that I had wasted too much time thinking about this question. I thought so much and did little to act on anything.  Know that there are no destined paths that we should take, instead we should create our own path, do things that we enjoy doing, and charge ahead aggressively.
4. Failure is your best mentor. I once heard a saying that if you want success in life, you will need to fail more and fail fast. Failure is a better mentor compared to success. Failures allow you to learn from your mistakes and move on to find ways that work. Instead of fearing of failure, embrace it. As  Thomas Edison said, “I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.”
5. Those who persevere will reach the finishing line. Life is not a sprint, it is a marathon; only those who persevere will reach their goal. Sure, we’ve all heard these things before but giving up seems all too common. The most common mistake that people make is that they quit too fast. If you want to reach the finishing line in the race, all you need is to keep on going. It doesn’t matter if you finish first or last, you are going to reach your goal if you just keep on going.  Consider that before throwing in the towel.
6. Those who fail to change are bound to fail. It is insane when people try to do things the same way over and over again and expect to get different results. Life is going to throw you the same challenges over and over again until you are able to change and over come it. For example, if you find yourself constantly broke, you will remain broke until you change your bad spending habits.  Even if you go earn a ton more money, you problems aren’t solved because you’ll simply spend on a grander scale.  Study the core of the problem and solve that!
7. Positive people are hot favorites. It pays to be positive. Positive people see a bottle half full instead of half empty, which means they have a higher tendency to pick up opportunities or lucky breaks. They are the ones who are able to see opportunities in a crisis. Those who are negative are only able to focus on the crisis and thus failed to see any opportunities lying in it.
8. There is enough for everyone. If you want to be prosperous, you will need to have an abundance mindset.  If you work in a scarcity mindset and think that there is not enough for everyone, you tend to suffer from scarcity. You see rich people donating money away and they remain prosperous or bloggers giving away free content yet they are still able to keep on writing great content. So if you want more of something in your life, give some of it away first and you will receive more of it. Life works this way.
9. Live life without regrets. Remember that we only live once.  To some people this means ‘do it all’ or ‘take more risk’.  To me, it’s larger.  It means what we do today cannot be undone.  This minute right now is your last chance to impact the next minute. Remember this, you only have a single lifetime and how you are going to live is totally up to you.
10. Live your life outside your comfort zone. Most of us are stuck in our comfort zones. This means that our growth is limited because we are always running in the same circles: fearing change, fearing pressure, fearing success, fearing work.  Personal growth means that one must learn, excel and expand. If you truly want growth, you will need to move out of your comfort zone every now and then.  We’re not talking daily, but periodically take a plunge into something that you typically wouldn’t.

Change Yourself!

How  many times have  we attempted the impossible and tried to change other people –  but attempting this is a waste of time!

I can’t tell you how many  times I have tried to change other people and have failed.  There was one  person in particular with whom I am very close; this person was not happy with  their life, they were bored and lonely. For years I tried to change them and aid in their leading a more productive life.

It Did Not  Work
Guess what, it didn’t work.  I just ended up  being frustrated, until I realized that I had no power.

As much as we want to, we all need to understand  you truly cannot change other people.

Think About  This
Think of a time when you tried to change a  personal habit. As we have absolute control over how we think, you would assume  changing a habit is easy… No, it is not.

Stop and consider  how difficult it is for us to try and change other people when we have no  control over their thoughts.

To draw on the wisdom in an old saying,  “You cannot change other people, you can only change yourself.” If you want  others to change, then you must change.

Whether it is the behavior of  a child, a boss, a co-worker, a friend, or a spouse you are the one who must  change. You can change the way you express your feelings towards the behavior.

Or, you can change your reaction to the behavior. In some cases, you  may have to change by accepting the behavior.

The Point Is  This
You have control over you and that is the only  person you can change. When you realize this, you will save yourself a lot of  frustration.

Remember:  You can change YOU and only YOU.

10 Beliefs To Get Rid Of

I think it’s a universal law that you have to clear space for newness to enter; let something die for something to be born; cleanse to heal; let go to receive. Just like we clear our lungs to take in new air, we need to empty our minds of dull ideas to create brighter lives.

10 Beliefs, and Standards to Let Go of:

1. Let go of the belief that you’re not worthy of your desires.

2. Let go of the fear-based notion that you have to say yes to everything in order to be liked, loved, profitable, charitable, kind. Fewer yeses can actually help you be more generous with your giving.

3. Let go of promises that you’ve outgrown. If a commitment is keeping you smaller or duller or safer than the person you’ve become, then it’s not serving anyone.

4. Let go of the insidiously subconscious standard that how you were treated in the past is how you should be treated now. Your family, your old boy/girlfriend, or your last boss may not be the best metric by which to measure how you want to be treated. You’ve grown—your standards for love should grow with you.

5. Let go of the incredibly sexy-dullifying belief that you’ll never get what you want the most. (See #1-you are worthy of your desires.)

6. Let go of the material stuff that you just don’t like. In fact, if you don’t LOVE it, make a plan to get rid of it. Too tight, too shabby, brings up bad memories. As me n’ my girls habitually remind each other: “Effin-get-ridda-it.”

7. Let go of the concept that art is a luxury. It’s a necessity. A home without human-created art is like a face without eyes.

8. For the love of life, let go of the idea that there’s not enough time. You are the source of time in your life.

9. Let go of the crippling notion that your needs are merely wants. If you really really really deeply truly want to be seen, heard, met, or respected, well then, that’s probably a veritable need that you must have fulfilled to be…fulfilled. (And you should set out to have that need met on a daily basis.)

10. Let go of the “what sucks” story in your life. There’s lots to complain about, and you should complain. Complaining can be incredibly life-affirming, clarifying, and galvanizing. But then stop bitching.

Create a story of your future and tell it over and over again. A future that you’re looking forward to—a future of fulfilled desires, enoughness, plenty of time, and works of art everywhere.

Denying Yourself

The more you try to deny something, the more it will interfere with your life.

Explore some part of yourself that doesn’t jibe with your public image. When you’re able to accept all parts of yourself, you free up more energy to live the life you deserve.

What are some areas of your life that you intuitively know need revamping and how do you plan to change it?

Who are some of the people that you need to cut from your life, but having a hard time letting them go and why?

Do you feel it is easier to cling to those things that are not necessarily positive in your life just because of familiarity?

What is your reasoning for not accepting what is best for your overall wellbeing? (Fear of loneliness, have a hard time with confrontation, uncertainty of change?)

It is up to you to recognize people places and things that no longer serve a positive purpose for you and sever those ties in order to stop denying yourself of the things you deserve.

Be Advised

Proverbs 12:15

“The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.”

Agatha Christie once said, “Good advice is to be ignored, but that’s no reason not to give it.”

Oscar Wilde said, “The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself.”  

But the book of Proverbs values advice, not so much the giving of it, but the listening to it. Wise people listen to others. That’s a countercultural message in a “just follow your heart” world. But it’s a message worth taking seriously.

I seldom do something foolish on purpose. I always think it is a good idea at the time. I listen to my own excellent advice and then I take it. Full steam ahead.

But if I am honest, when I look back on my mistakes, I can see that I was not eager for advice from other people. Most of my worst ideas are ideas I decided not to run by anyone else. My life suffered from trying to do things on my own.

Fools don’t intend to be foolish. But they may set themselves up to be foolish, by refusing to run a plan by another person. Sometimes the wisest thing we can do is admit that we don’t possess all the wisdom. God put us here on earth to help each other. Is there someone out there with a wise word for you?

What Are You Afraid Of?

When a spirit of fear comes over us, it disrupts life, drains our spiritual strength, and clouds our judgment.
God says, “Fear not” over 360 times in the Bible because he wants us to rely on Him when fearful times come.

When the evening news reports economic collapse, crime, and natural disasters, it can ignite anxiety. You may even think, “Am I next on the list? What am I even working for?”

Loss or the thought of failing may have left you unable to take the next step in your life.

Fear is a tool to destroy your hope in the future. It saps our energy and robs us of the joy in living. In time, the hurtful actions of others or our personal choices can make us afraid of outcomes in the future.

We must expect great things to happen. We must wait and have faith in all we do. Being brave to venture out of our comfort zone and try new things.

Overcome fearfullness with a bold sense of knowing that no matter what…God is on your side and you only have to believe the greatness he created in you.